Are Women the Pursuer or Prize?
Where are we? How did we end up here? Is traditional courtship over, and has ‘hanging out’ become the new dating’? Have women become the pursuers and men the prize?
Modern civilization has not only shifted in science and technology, but also in modern dating, Some may argue the shift to be for the better, and others like therapist, Dr. Liana Kim, for the worse. Dr. Kim has been practicing in Seattle, WA for the past 30 years. She says, “I’ve seen many couples and singles go in and out of my office since I got licensed in the 80s. The most notable pattern in couple and individual therapy related to dating has been role reversal. Women in the modern world are taking on what traditionally was known as the mans role, which from a relationship standpoint has caused men to take the passenger seat with less forthcoming effort.”
On many levels, women in the western world fought and gained equal rights in the work force, academics, and occupancy of leadership position in government. The development of the female gender has also contributed to the shift in romantic relationships and dating. The more women pursue men as they would pursue their advance degrees, leadership positions within corporate America, fire departments, and police departments, the lazier men become. The more women treat dating as traditional men in pursuit, the less modern men sense the need to initiate courtship.
Having experienced this sociological change, Google professional, Sarah Fisher says, “I love being able to manage men in corporate, but hate it in dating. You could say I have a successful career for being in my early thirties.” She chuckles, looks down and says, “But I’m a loser in dating. I sometimes find myself trying to figure out if I should chase a man or risk losing him. I think they're intimidated by my achievements and strong personality.”
It is safe to say that feminist movements have also had their repercussions. The female fight for equality is to blame for the agony that women like Sarah are left with in modern dating. Which leaves us with three options. One, accept that having an assigned gender be the pursuer, and the other the ‘prize’ is an ideological and political construct that shifts with evolution. Therefore you must be willing to bend with societies changes. Two, communicate your ideology of preference in order to attract a partner with the same perspective even in modern dating; or three, understand that by taking away a man's incentive to pursue, the desire for his quest will vanish. When taking on the responsibility of catching and keeping a man, women will continue to create a society full of males who have been trained the subtle art of emasculation. Then, as ambitious female professionals peruse the horizon of available men, they will continue to be faced with disappointment after disappointment, if being pursued by a man is what they are hoping for when dating in the modern world.